I talked to my sister this morning and she told me that Thomas had a hickey on his neck 2 weeks ago I did the math and that was the same night I let his ass go with the damn Herman and I feel so sick to my stomach just the thought of that shit happening is pissing me off and making me sick to my stomach. I could not tell my sister about how I was really feeling since I have not told her he was gay and I know how she is. But that shit is just nasty and then that damn Herman was up at his job the other night
I can't talk about it to anyone and it is eating me up I want to so bad talk to Tony about it shit since I already told him but now is not the time. I will be so glad when I start my session with Dr. O I can't take this shit.
Lynn called me last night Jeff is in town for good he sold the strip club and getting a divorce. He is moving in with Lynn until he finds something of his own. She wanted me to come hang last night but I said no I just did not think I would get there before it closed.

You guys my stomach is so upset. I miss Tony and just want to hear his voice, feel his touch I really miss him and I know I have messed up big time it's been 4 days already.
I wonder what he's thinking/
How he feels? I mean just what is on his mind

everytime I try topost something it keeps saying duplicate, it's pissing me off
I am trying to tell you guys my girl Storm gave me the name and number of her and her husbands psychotherapist Dr. O I have my first meeting on jan 30th @ 6pm I plan to leave work early so I won't be late. He asked me to sen dhim a e-mail explaining why I felt I needed help and I told him I was verbally abusive towards Tony, I felt he blames me for everything, he is too perfect for me , he never thinks I do anything wrong, he blames me for Thomas being gay, he never admits when he is wrong and I think he is jealous of me.
I want help I just want us to move on in this marriage or for me to be okay if he moves out of this marraige.

I have typed this likee twice I hope it works this time

My girl Shawn thinks Tony is being a big ass she was reminding me how we were just beefing off his doing some stupid stuff and how so many times I keep being the one to try and get him to talk to me. and he just ignores and makes me feel like shit. She is right on that but I was dead wrong for getting that pissy.