I leave for Myrtle Beach on Thursday and I have no money. I am about to take out my 3rd payday loan. I have nothing else to do and no one to borrow from. I asked Tony if he had some money and he was like"No". So what am I to do make him have some money.I refuse to beg him for anything. So I do the next best thing besides sell my body, date somebody or anything like that.
I hate to do it but what else can I do go out of town with no money?
I won tickets to see Mr. Brooks at the movies tonight and I'm taking Shawn with me.
Nothing much else to say right now.

I messed up big time .......again with my money. If I was not at work I would be crying I don't see how I can get myself out of this one. Without borrowing from somebody.......aaaarrrggggghhhhh for Darney's Birthday party I transferred money into my account from the joint house funds which ment I had to put that back which equaled $260.00 on top of the 2 payday loans I have out there equaling $140 and then not to even mention my cell phone was $250 and then daycare $100 aaaarrgrgghhhh I want to cry so bad what will it help I mean I have $33 dollars left to my name ....................a fucking $33 and the daycare LOL I haven't paid that yet. I can't let Tony know I fucked up again I mean I feel like running away. I feel really, really down I have got to find some cash I need $300 ASAP That still won't be enough but at least it would be what I would have if I did not owe Payday loans and had to put back in the joint account. HELP!!!!!! I need money management and FAST!!!!!!!!!!!
India is going to let me borrow $100 now I only need $200 more oh shit I need to get my hair done aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww F this I have to change a bunch of plans this is crazy ............How did this happen when I was a little girl I saw myself married to a righ man where money was no option very, very funny

What am I going to do this boy of mine is frickin CRAZY. Tuesday he told his English teacher he was not going to take the test she was handing out since it has nothing to do with them passing the HSA test that is coming up and as a matter of fact he thinks she is handling the cirrculum (however you spell it) all wrong WTF? who does he think he is. So check this yesterday the whole class comes in and no one speaks to the teacher 30min into class my son say's "Lights, camera, action". and everyone in the class slams there text books on the floor. WTF? I am like this boy done lost his ever loving mind.
Tony had to go to the school this morning for the meeting. I don't know what to do with him I swear he has issues like he kknows everything and has been like this since Kindergarden and I know it's because every single teacher he has had always say's "Thomas is so smart....he will be a great leader someday.....he knows more then some of the teachers....How did he get so smart". That he thinks he is already the President of the US freakin A. Next year he will be a junior (high school) and since the 9th grade he has been asked to come to different colleges he tested real high on his PSAT 9whatever it is) but I tell him "Boy with a think-you-know-everything attitude and a my-shit-don't stink way of living you won't amount to a hill of beans". I really don't know what else to do with him.

I just found out my girl Angel got a new job at a female strip club and you don't need a guy to get in. You know I am going there tomorrow after work Me and a couple of my girls. I hope Tony does not know about this spot .....

Before I vent let me say my Mother's Day was wonderful. I recieved nice gifts, money, Tony even cooked me breakfast and Thomas gave me a very nice card with Twenty dollars in it.

NOW

Shawn has been getting on my last nerve lately she came to Darney's 7th birthday party and was talking about the kids so bad. She asked me how come this boy's parents did not get his glasses fixed. I mean come on that cost money and everytime your child breaks the arm off their glasses you might can't fix it right then. Or those could have been his go outside to play pair aaarrrggghhhh. Then my neighbors son got hit by a car and she made it sound like it was the little boy's fault since kids ride bikes and jump out in the street anyway. I mean damn you can't make a 12 year old boy ride his bike on the sidewalk forever and then she said the parents should have been out front while he was riding...............niw come on who does that he's 12 not 2 by the way he was okay a broke leg thank the Lord. Then this morning on the news they were talkng about the 13month or 18month old little girl who feel out the 3rd floor bedroom window (there was no screen) she is in critical condition I guess she was suspossed to be in bed and the parents left the window open bad call on there part but she made it seem like they should have been watching her ...........as if a child could never get out of her sight for a second. She was saying if the screen would have been on she would not have feel she said "How could you not have a screen on when you have kids how broke are you not to afford a screen". I told her 2 of my kids have busted right thru patio screen doors while they were closed and it took me a while to get another one. .................This is the same one who does not have any kids at all and always crying broke she even still lives at home with her mother and................she just pisses me off. She is sussposed to be dieting too and asked for my help but everytime I mention something to her she just says "Look I know what to do". and then heats up a sausage biscuit, some sorta pasta with sauce, chips, cookies you name it she's eating it but then knocks me because I don't and says stuff to me like "Your only so big Jada eat what you want your crazy not to eat this here good food". aaarrrggghhh

all better now. Glad I go that off my chest.

Okay, Okay my son is gay and it is starting to really show. He had on a rainbox bracelet you know the kind made of rubber and they can say all sort of different things ........Anyway yesterday Tony was like " Boy why do you have that rainbow shit on are you a fag". Thomas "No". Tony "Then take that shit off". Thomas "Jasmine gave it to me". Tony "I don't care uh uh you can't wear that fagget shit up in here hell no". Thomas took it off I was glad Tony made him remove it. I was like dang he is really getting comfortable and I so what this to be a phase and he ends up marry a nice female. I hate the idea of him being gay.

Tony got paid today my account is negative $42 and he said he was going to straighten my account out and give me some money. must have been that good sex I put on his ass last night.

I gained 1 pound I feel so discouraged Tony said don't give up but I am thinking a girdle will do the job I heard Spanx is good. I am 5'5 148lbs nice size but after the 4 kids and all the beer I drink I have a big belly and look about 3 months pregnant I have got to do something and this Weight Watchers and working out is not working fast enough for me. I lost 3 pounds and now have gained 1 back aaarrrggghhhh

Thanks for the Birthday wish for my baby girl Angie