I have been searching T. for some reason he does not want me to come visit him. I think him and his baby mamma live together and he's keeping some sorta secrets from me. Anyway I got his old address and a current one my girl called the number (blocked her's of course) and it's some chick on the voicemail.uuuummmmmm I'm going to call tonight just to see if he answers and then..................and then I'm gonna give it to him. I would wait until he called me ......like a week later and then I would just piss him off on purpose and I mean just ..........well I know how I do.
I can't wait to go to visit him. I wonder if he'll take me to his crib..........mister slick he's just not slicker then me

My daddy and baby sister came to visit from California they arrived Wed. and Left Sunday morning. The visit was nice we Tony and my sister Stephanie took them out one night we went to a bar which was cool.
My daddy is such a flirt I got it honest.
My sister Stephanie was getting on my nerves (it doesn't take much) she was being so hard on Mikalyn (our baby sister) she told us she was pregnant .............she's 21 and in her senior year in college not to mention she just had an abortion 5 months ago. She is keeping the baby and finishing school. Stephanie is just so hard on her calling her immature and not ready which is true but did she forget she had a baby at 15years old and a abusive boyfriend to boot.
Tony gave a fight party at the crib Saturday and it was so much fun a bunch of his friends came and got to meet my daddy and sister for the first time.
Stephanie was getting mad play Al, D and Dre were sweating her calling her the dark sexy one and I was the light sexy one. I am so used to being the one all the guys flirt with that I was getting a tad jealous of the attention she was getting. Even though I'm married and she's not ...............it's so wrong I know it God forgive me
Shawn went home yesterday she has the pink eye which ment she did not work overtime and then she is out today as well. Our co-worker Freckles wants to take her spot and I'm tempted to see if Marsha will hire her she has 2 kids and just moved she can use the extra cash. Where Shawn is living at home with her parents and her dog. I don't know Freckles keeps asking me if I asked Marsha yet and I keep making up excuses.
T called me yesterday for the first time since our 3 week haitus and I was sooooo happy to hear from him and him me. It's like we picked right back up where we left off. I sent him 2 new pics of me and he said he liked them.
He told me that everytime he thinks of me it's not sexual he thinks of walking with me, talking with me, holding my hand, taking me places, riding in the truck with me.
Tony has not called me this morning and last night he left out for a little. Then came home and stayed in the basement fixing the CD's you know putting them in the right cases and stacking them in the bin checking for the missing ones. I was glad he found the Tank CD tho since he thought I lost his. Even after I told him I put it back. He also hid the remote control from me and swore up and down he didn't.
gotta go T is calling me.

I had a doctors appt yesterday .............just to check out my feet I think I have a foot fungus and Tony had an appt in Endo for his diabetes. Both appts are on the same floor so we sat in the waiting room together.
When I got a chance later that day I called to check on his appt..........he never mentioned my appt.......okay later that evening I saw he was not going to ask (I guess he does not give a fuck about my appointment how rude) So I tell the girls about it and stuff ..............he never said anything he did not even ask a question..........not a mmmm mmmm nothing. I know it's something small but more reason for me to realize the love is fading.
While we sat at his Uncle Charles house talking with him and his wife Tony showed me no kinda affection. I would talk and touch his knee or arm and look at him and he would not even look at me.
Damn

Do me
live for me
be me

I know longer miss T and have not thought about him in a few days.
When I try to think about the stuff we talked about and the cute flirty things he would say to me. They just don't feel the same and I don't get those butterflies in my stomach when I think of him either.
I am back in control and I can't let my feelings get out of control again.
The Disney trip is coming up so fast and I'm broke, I mean broke aaarrggghhh my next check would have been a free check for me but I messed up my mortage funds and I have to put my $600 in the bank to make my $1200.00 so we can pay the mortage I hate that it's late but I messed up this time going to Ohio just was not in the budget and we should not have went but it's done now.
Shawn did not come to work today she had a dental appointment yesterday and now her mouth is sore.........I don't believe her I don't know why, but I don't think she likes to work and she will live with her parents forever. I mean she works at the same parttime job as me and I think she has only worked 7 times in the 3 months we've been there. I think they are about to let her go.
O well I have work to do so talk to you guys later.

Sprint sent me a text message informing me to pay my bill of $633 or my service would be cut off. I am a month behind and I know this but it's so hard to catch up with my son ordering all types of crap and my daughter over using her texting minutes. For $10 I gave her unlimited text messages which has now brought my bill up........I swear anyway so they would not cut it off I told them I could pay 343.00 on Friday WHY DID i SAY THAT?..........WHERE AM I GOING TO GET THE MONEY FROM?.............I do some crazy shit sometimes out of pride anyway so now I have to take out a payday loan for the 343 then pay the 338 on the 27th payday. Lord I pray we have spending money when we go to Flordia