I have typed this likee twice I hope it works this time

My girl Shawn thinks Tony is being a big ass she was reminding me how we were just beefing off his doing some stupid stuff and how so many times I keep being the one to try and get him to talk to me. and he just ignores and makes me feel like shit. She is right on that but I was dead wrong for getting that pissy.

I miss Tony so much he is still not speaking to me and it is pissing me off. I would not ignore him this long just recently he came home with the spot wash on his underware and I did not ignore his ass we talked it out. I said good morning to him and he ignored me I mean I just want every thing to be back the way it was before we went to that party .
I was so fucked up I can barely remember that night and I have to stop drinking for real my sister Nicole said to drink 1 drink and call it a night sip that bitch all night long.
I just called Tony at work and hung up when I heard his voice and then I called and when he answered I said I just wanted to hear his voice and he was like "okay". and we hung up .
I don't know ya'll I am so very sorry but this has happened before at least I can say I was not kissing nobody, having sex with someone or some crazy shit like that. fuck it it is what it is I have to let him come around.
I messed up so bad with the account this time the joint acct is neg 100, his acct neg 8 dollars damn I messed up I know he's gonna bitch about that too. No Myrtle Beach for me that's for sure. I just tried to call my girl Lynn to see if I could borrow 20 so I can get him out the neg. but I did not get a answer.
I need a pick me upper I am starting to feel depressed

Okay this boy is scraing me for real.
He just called
me "So what you doing"?
him "I'm on my way to work".
me "is it cold out there for you"?
him "look man I'm feeling you and there nothing I can do about it"!
me "Dang, did you have to put that out there like that"?
him "What? how would you like me to have said it"?
me "Naw you good your doing you".
him "I just don't want it to be no fighting cause I don't do drama".
me "Naw won't be no fighting". I could here him talking to his kids and he said he would call me back in a hour once he got to work
now would be the time for me to tell him I think he's cool people but not in that way right? I didb't I just said "Okay call me then". I know this is going to cause a bunch of trouble so why won't I just end it ..................I love the attention as crazy as it may sound aaaarrrrgggghhhh I just need to grow up I am 35 years old which is too old for this drama yeah I'ma be honest with crazy when I talk to him.
Friday were going to the club house for a birthday party one of the girls from QT. I know Crazy will be in the place and GOD only knows who else this club is trouble ....................naw I'm trouble around all those fine ass men.

I have been thinking and I think it's kinda strange that Tony did not make sure I had food on my stomach and when he saw me starting to cut up how come he did not oull me a side like everyone else was is it because he really does not care about me or what?
Also that fool Crazy has been calling me like Crazy he has called me 3 times today and sent me a text message. He is pressed and it's not even like that on my part.
T has started calling me again I talked to him twice today I miss his confo and I was the one who sent him a e-mail asking him to call me. It just felt good to talk to them today since tony and I are on the outs.