I just found out Sonja moved into a house 6 min from where I live. She has been attracted to me for years and I her but all we've ever done was kiss and flirt. She wants us to hook up but I am leery man she is so aggressive and shows her feeling for me in front of everybody ...............shes not discreet and with my history of cheating with women and getting caught by Tony. I could not risk getting caught like that again.
It is tempting and I am thinking about how close she is now and I could even stop by before I go home or on my way to the store.............naw I better behave

Man you guys I can't get him off my mind. I am so distracted by thoughts of him. Nothing my husband does bothers me. Tony tried to start an arguement with me this morning about something stupid like I shut the car door to hard. I just looked at him and was like okay whatever I'm not even tripping.
He is still smoking and was outside on the deck looking for his cigs and I was actully helping him find them. Any other time I would have been the one who hid them. I swear I think of nothing else but T and it has been 7 days since I last spoke to him. I miss his voice I keep playing over in my head how and what I think is going to happen when I see him for the first time in August the weekend of the 24th to be exact. I know he is nothing like any guy I have ever talked to or been attracted to. his looks and just everything about him, if he would have approached me at the club or some other place I hang I would have gave him the "Sorry but I'm happily married". line and walked away thinking how dare he even try his hand at me. but now that we have talked over the phone for over a year and I have got to know him I am truly smitten I can only tell you this blog family I could never tell my friends how I feel they would think I was crazy I don't even know this guy and he's not my type. Not to mention I'M MARRIED
I sent T 4 e-cards and dated them for random dates he got the 2nd one today I marked the box to be notified when he opened them. They are all missing you cards since I knew I was not going to talk to him for 2 weeks (my dumb idea)

I had a wonderful 4th of July. I hope you guys did as well.
Tony and I had a few friends over. I cooked and grilled and my girls Shawn and Shar came over bringing food as well. The guys got so wasted usually it's us women getting twisted and acting a fool. This time Tony and his boys got bent it was so funny.
We watched the fireworks right from my backyard they we so beautiful. The older kids walked over to the rec center to watch them.
You would have thought it was a weekend and no one had to go to work the next day. Since the last 4 people did not leave until 1 something this morning.
Tony got so plastered that all that sex talk he was doing went out the window. He crashed on the sofa.
I woke up feeling fine this morning. Still got to work late thanks to Tony who was still tired and moving slower then a snail this morning.
You guys I can do nothing but think about T. I miss him so much. I want to send him a e-mail and say "Call me". But I have to be strong.
O well nothing else is going on right now anyways.

Oh my goodness.....oh my goodness (I was saying that in the voice of the girl in the movie Annie) Anyway I had this dream about T last night and even though there was no sex involoved in it I still felt so good when I woke up.It was a dream about Tony finding out about us and T called me at work for some reason I was not around and Tony answered the phone and Shawn was there and heard and saw the whole thing. Tony told T not to call me ever again and that I was never going to come and visit him. T ended up calling back and talking to me he was telling me he loved me but he was willing to let me go so I would not get hurt by Tony and he was crying. I woke up feeling like it was so real.
Yesterday when I got home from work Tony and I made love again. I rode him real good he slept for 3 whole hours. During the time while he was asleep I watched the Disney channel with Darney and then we watched MTV making of the band 4. The older kids were outside
Did I mention Necole made the Varsity cheerleading squad for her high school. She was the only Freshmen to make it.
I am so happy for her. The coach called a while ago and said the 3 day camp they will be going to cost $220 and she needs $150 for her shoes here we go again with money and these school activities. But it's worth it she loves to cheer and I back my kids 100%.
Thomas is trying out for American Idol again in August. He tried out a few years ago when they had the AmericaN Idol Jr. he did not make it in the door they already had all the kids by the time they got to us and the line was like 3 miles after us.This year we plan to be very early. My son can sing and has won talent shows as well.
I have not talked to T in 2 days and I can think of nothing else. I wonder if he is thinking of me? I am counting down the days until we talk again.
The 4th of July is tomorrow and I am having something small at the crib. Everytime I say somthing small it turns into something BIG. My sister Steph is coming over and then I turned around an invited my cousion Butta and they don't get along at all. My sister is so full of drama I swear she is a trip and it's sad to admit I would perferr Butta's company to hers anyday. I am just really not into my family at all and I loved living here with my family miles away. Now she lives about 20min from me and aaarrrggghhhh I hate it.

Okay I was able to put one lousy pic in my gallery. Everything kept saying I had the wrong format and it had to be a GIF. or Jpig or some craziness like that. I'm not really good at this shit. I'll have to bring my camera to work so I can try to put more on.
We just came back from a family vacation to Ohio to vist my mother and Grandma. We had a very nice time and I got to see myy new nephew he is so handsome. He was born with a extra finger on both hands they have fingernails and everything. He is going to have the removed but first they have to make sure they have no nerve cells connected. If they do then they have to perform surgery instead of tying them off in the office.
I talked to T before I left ........that Thursday and we decided .......well I decided I did not want to hear from him for a few weeks. I mean just to get him out of my system and hopefully to make him miss me like crazy. I miss him already and it's only Monday. I'm not sure but I think if we don't talk to each other for a while then. I can be back in control instead of my heart.
I saw a preview of the Transformers on Thursday Shawn won tickets and she took me. The movie was very good we both liked it.
Tony and I made love last night and it was very ...very nice. He did not go down on me but he did play with my toys while I used the bullet to get mine off
T sent me a e-mail that said he was not afraid to admit he really liked me and wished I was his ....."real talk" as he says.But he is not trying to distract me he knows my postion and does not want to push things.
Nothing much else been going on just the usual working and stuff. I have not been out to the bar in like forever or any parties for that matter. I plan on having a cookout at our house on the 4th. I hope all goes well.